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Should we ban or promote Arranged Marriage?

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Arrange marriages have been conducted in large numbers in human history but now they have become unusual in the Western world. However overt arranged marriages still take place in Europe and America but mainly within the immigrant communities. This further complicates the issue as the debate over arranged marriage gets caught up in discussion on ethnic rights and racism as well as in the larger issue of immigration. For example Britain gives entry clearance to a large number of spouses of British Asians out of whom, a large proportion were the result of marriages in which there was at least some measure of arrangement.


Points in favour of arranged marriages:
1. When marriages are arranged, there are several factors that are taken into consideration before a match is considered between two persons. In fact there is also an element of choice in arranged marriages. The only difference is that in arranged marriages, the whole families are involved in making this decision. This is particularly suitable in societies where high value is placed on the way in which the extended families work together. It also ensures that the support of the family and the shared expectations result in the longevity of the marriage. Similarly in many cases what is known as an arranged marriage is only the introduction of a couple by their parents while the final decision is made by their future bride and groom. At the same time it will also be very illogical to allow the government to interfere to prevent the people from having arranged marriages in the name of providing them freedom. In this regard it needs to be remembered that there is a difference between arranged marriage and forced marriage.

2. In some societies, arranged marriages are considered as an important part of their identity. Particularly at a time when the tension between different communities is particularly high across the world, targeting a practice that is carried out by some of the communities may result in widespread resentment among these communities. Therefore imposing a ban on arranged marriages is potentially dangerous and it can also be considered as being intolerant.

3. Most of the marriages in the human history will fall under a sensible definition of arrangement. It is also true that the number of the horses in case of arranged marriages is also low. At the same time there are a large number of people who marry due to the wrong reasons. These include the search for financial security, the pressure of the parents, the desire for children and lack of choice. Therefore it is highly impractical to say that marriages should only be love marriages and the arranged marriages should be banned. It only shows that it is very difficult to make a sensible distinction between what is an arranged marriage and what is not. Therefore any such attempt to ban the arranged marriages is not likely to meet significant success.

4. Similarly the state should not be allowed to include in the personal matters like marriage. It is widely agreed that the matters related with the way individuals conduct themselves in private and also in consensual environment should not be regulated by the state. The same analogy can be applied to the way people get married. For example, the European states are allowing nontraditional marriages like the gay marriages therefore in such an environment it will not be prudent to impose a ban on arranged marriages as it would be seen as a step backwards.

Points against arranged marriages
1. It has been said that arranged marriage amounts to an insult of the nature of marriage as marriage is concerned with the creation of allowing and lasting partnership. Arranged marriages reduce the marriage only to a religious ceremony and also to a commercial transaction. In this way it undermines the family values. Moreover, all religions of the world guaranteed choice. The issue becomes all the more important than people come to a country where marriage is considered as a central value that needs to be free.

2. It is also not practical to enforce a ban on arranged marriages, particularly as there are many communities in the world that are going to continue with the arranged marriages despite the ban. It is also not possible to tell if a marriage has been started by arrangement if the members of the community are not willing to report to the authorities in this regard. Although in case of some persons who may be dissatisfied with the marriage may do so but even in such cases the law provides that the parties can take divorce and any abuse in marriages also severely punishable.

3. It has also been seen that in many cases the parents can also make selfish choices. Therefore while the parents claim to make the best decisions for their children, there are many instances in which they are putting into their own selfish desires first. Sometimes the parents force their child to marry a person only due to reason that such person is rich. Although the concept that the parents know the best is true in some cases, on many occasions the payments are just being selfish.

4. Although, there should be love, care and understanding in both arranged and love marriages. However in case of a love marriage, the persons have the freedom to select their life partner and this decision is not influenced by any other person. However this is not the case in here is marriages. It has also been seen that arranged marriages are the root cause behind several social ills like dowry, cast system and other social prejudices that are taken to extreme levels in case of arranged marriages.

This article has been written by KJ Singh a MBA Graduate from a prestigious Business School In India
Article Published:July 11, 2014
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